Mindness

I keep having these surreal thoughts. Especially when I’m on my own. Then I dwell on them for days because I feel like they’ve got some kind of hidden meaning. That I’m very close to having a philosophical epiphany.
One that is circulating in my head at them moment is about my brain. I’ve seen pictures and videos and stuff about how brains look. And I know if you get shot in the head that you will definitely die. But I feel like although I’ve been told this, that its somehow a lie. My brain is where my thoughts come from, the inner voice behind my ears and when I picture the place where the thoughts come from I picture some type of ethereal pulsating thing full of colours. The kind of thing that nothing could penetrate because its like light or is light. I understand how everything else kills you but head injuries I cant comprehend. Maybe I should study biology. If I got a deeper understanding of brain function then maybe I could accept it. Right now, I feel like I can’t.
When I picture what should be inside my head, I see a cartoon brain like in Futurama and when I actually think about it. The thing inside my head shouldn’t weigh anything or be attached to anything. Or should be something tiny and full of wires and chips.