Wednesday, 31 August 2011

Another, Another Mysterious Tale

Once upon a time, deep in the forests of Ravensdale. There lived a man, a cat and some mysterious occurances. Obviously the occurances didnt live there but for the sake of the phrasing, they metaphorically did. The man was handsome and beautiful, smart and cunning, devious and lovely and his name was Morgan. Now you may think that his description was exaggerated but I promise you, I am nothing if not modest.
Now to the story, one day as he sat in his throne room. He heard a noise in the kitchen. It sounded like someone pouring cereal on the floor and making words with it. "Molly" exclaimed Morgan. Morgan got up from his throne lazily and walked into the kitchen, Molly was sitting in the middle of the kitchen surrounded by cereal. Morgans spidey senses were indeed correct. "you dont even like cereal, Miss Mollz. why'd you do this" Molly replied by meowing in a confused manner."I know it was you! Now confeeesssss!". Molly stretched herself out and jumped up on the table "Morgan as you know" said Molly "although I do enjoy my petty vandalism, this is too petty for me. Especially too petty when theres arson to be had".
"Then who was it Mollz?" replied Morgan. "It was a ghost!!!" answered Molly. Molly then ran outside to start fires and eat some children.
Morgan decided to call his friends for some outside help. Maybe Anders might know of this thought Morgan.
Declan arrived first on a white stallion and exclaimed "Why in Gods name did you convert your bathroom into a throne room?"
Then came Ryan and Anders and a new friend of Ryans. "Is that Fenris Ryan?"  cried Morgan. "can I keep him, oh can I keep him. pleeeaaassseee?"
"sure" said Ryan.
"Fenris come with me" whispered Morgan "We're going to go .. eh.. look in my bedroom for.. eh.. something"

Three hours later Morgan and Fenris exited said room and Mollz was the first to exclaim "So how was the mastubatory daydream?". Morgan was delighted but failed to say anything.
"Now ladies and gentlefolk, I have a ghost and I called you here to get rid of it, anyone hane any ideas?" Asked Morgan.
Well Anders then stood up and exclaimed "I can bring it back to life and chop its head off with an axe!, It feels like a small spirit to my otherworldly senses"
"ANDERS IS A TRADEMARK OF BIOWARE ENTERTAINMENT" said a voice from behind the curtains.

As the all crowded round the scattered remains of many a cheerio, Anders started talking some made up language and a ghost appeared. The ghost let out a cry and ran around the kitchen clucking.
"It seems Morgan" Anders turned around to the rest of the group and took off his black sunglasses "You have a poultrygeist"

Another Mysterious Tale

Once upon a time, In a land not far from here. In the land of Dundalk which is actually here. There was a man, a good man, an honest man named Niall Phelan. His purpose on this fine evening was to call his friends to his house as he had a secret to share. A colourful secret, a beautiful secret. He could not hold it in any longer, and like a homeless man after a litre of vodka. He needed to let it out.
He invited many a friend down to his mansion. Which housed rare antiques and a large wolverine on a leash at the top of the stairs. This did not serve a purpose although his love of Xmen did play a part. As a crowd gathered on in the main sitting room. Morgan Matthews and Ryan Dullaghan entered. Following Ryan Dullaghan was a red haired man who was introduced to the group. His outfit was elaborate and adorned with black feathers. As Morgan dragged a large seat to the fire so he could sit above everyone and pass judgements, he exclaimed "why thats Anders, Hes imaginary dont take any notice of him" . As he said this a man jumped out from behind the sofa and shouted "ANDERS IS A REGISTERED TRADEMARK OF BIOWARE ENTERTAINMENT!". Ryan Dullaghan looking disapointed said " he just says the same things over and over again anyway".
As everyone sat and admired Ryan Dullaghans new boyfriend, Niall Phelan entered. He was wearing a sleeping bag and was jumping across the room. Noone said anything as this was not uncommon for the group. After Samantha Kings attempt to take over the world, Ryans imaginary boyfriend and sightings of the Floating Head Doctor getting more and more common, Noone was shocked.
"I called you all here for a reason"  exclaimed Niall Phelan "Theres been something Ive been meaning to tell everyone and Ive kept it in so long that I dont know how to say it". "Spit it out" said Morgan Matthews from his throne.
Then Niall Phelan dropped the sleeping bag and Ryan expecting a floating head closed his eyes and cried out in horror. But this was not the case. Niall Phelan did indeed have a body and attached to the back of this body were a pair of BUTTERFLY WINGS.

A Mysterious Tale

Once upon a time. There was a man with a mystery. The mystery was that he liked doctors. It was a mystery to noone and yet still in fact a mystery as it was mysterious. His name was Ryan Dullaghan, a man of mystery and charm. By charm I mean sophistication and by sophistication I mean he had none of either.
One day in late September in the dark Winter of August, he set out on a journey. A journey to the doctor as he kept throwing up in public spaces and falling over in his place of work. Which made many a sane man say "TIMBER". His disgust came to head when he fell on a very attractive man called Samantha King who was actually a woman and not a man at all except for a Hitler haircut which she wore with both style and grace.A haircut which would eventually change the world and not kill any jews at all except for that one she reversed over in a tank. But that Ladies and Gentlemen is another story.
Ryan Dullaghan put on his walking shoes, shoes that he could no longer see due to his height and walked gracefully and skipped merrily to the doctors to find out once and for all what the mysterious ticking noise was (ailment he was suffering).
As he walked into the surgery, an attractive doctor came out and greeted him with both candy and a straw hat. And after 65 hours of waiting the Doctor ushered him into a van behind the surgery. "I bring all my male patients here" the doctor explained. As Ryan Dullaghan climbed into the back of the van, he wondered "what indeed was this doctor going to do? Would it be sexual or just a routine examination?".
The doctor then put his hands upon Ryan Dullaghans shoulders and exclaimed "We have known each other a long time and I feel I have something I need to get out in the open". Ryan Dullaghan was perplexed by this as he did not know this doctor and unless he had met him before he had his memory stripped by the demon pomaranian, he did not know what on earth or beyond this doctor was talking about. The doctor started to slowly unbutton his labcoat. Ryan Dullaghan wondered silently about whether like him the doctor had a third nipple and they then could become third nipple brothers and scare random strangers on the street. The doctor unbuttoned the last button and flung his coat open. Ryan was in awe. Because THE DOCTOR HAD NO BODY. He was just a floating head.

Is this Blog now Pink?

Ah, new blog. New day. Or new Thursday if It actually is Thursday. Im such a bum I wouldnt know.

Anyway Darlings, Im Etch. I live in a shit flat in a shit town and hey The Internet is here might as well do something with it.
This is Nocturnal Radio where I talk about crap. So listen or go read about baking or something similar. So many blogs about baking on this damn site.
This is For Flutter, she knows who she is.