Wednesday 31 August 2011

A Mysterious Tale

Once upon a time. There was a man with a mystery. The mystery was that he liked doctors. It was a mystery to noone and yet still in fact a mystery as it was mysterious. His name was Ryan Dullaghan, a man of mystery and charm. By charm I mean sophistication and by sophistication I mean he had none of either.
One day in late September in the dark Winter of August, he set out on a journey. A journey to the doctor as he kept throwing up in public spaces and falling over in his place of work. Which made many a sane man say "TIMBER". His disgust came to head when he fell on a very attractive man called Samantha King who was actually a woman and not a man at all except for a Hitler haircut which she wore with both style and grace.A haircut which would eventually change the world and not kill any jews at all except for that one she reversed over in a tank. But that Ladies and Gentlemen is another story.
Ryan Dullaghan put on his walking shoes, shoes that he could no longer see due to his height and walked gracefully and skipped merrily to the doctors to find out once and for all what the mysterious ticking noise was (ailment he was suffering).
As he walked into the surgery, an attractive doctor came out and greeted him with both candy and a straw hat. And after 65 hours of waiting the Doctor ushered him into a van behind the surgery. "I bring all my male patients here" the doctor explained. As Ryan Dullaghan climbed into the back of the van, he wondered "what indeed was this doctor going to do? Would it be sexual or just a routine examination?".
The doctor then put his hands upon Ryan Dullaghans shoulders and exclaimed "We have known each other a long time and I feel I have something I need to get out in the open". Ryan Dullaghan was perplexed by this as he did not know this doctor and unless he had met him before he had his memory stripped by the demon pomaranian, he did not know what on earth or beyond this doctor was talking about. The doctor started to slowly unbutton his labcoat. Ryan Dullaghan wondered silently about whether like him the doctor had a third nipple and they then could become third nipple brothers and scare random strangers on the street. The doctor unbuttoned the last button and flung his coat open. Ryan was in awe. Because THE DOCTOR HAD NO BODY. He was just a floating head.

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